Hilarious!!!

I just got this email from my sister-in-law, and it's so funny that I almost pee'd my pants (not hard to do after having 2 kids). It is a list of 31 adult truths. I can honestly say that I relate to every single one. Here's the list (I added a few comments of my own):

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? - I've resorted to just rolling them up.

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? - I don't remember the last time I wrote in cursive. I can barely even read it anymore.

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. - So true.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. - I thought that was just me.

10. Bad decisions make good stories. - My husband can vouch for this one. He tells the BEST stories. Love you babe!

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. - That's why Solitaire was invented.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. - I just finished transferring all my VHS tapes to DVDs.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. - I don't purchase items that say that on the label.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. - That is why I never get ready anymore! My husband works late, so the only people I see all day are my kids, and they could care less if I'm still in my PJs.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. - I also assign them the most obnoxious ring tone to make doubly sure I don't answer it.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. - I agree. Try finding ice cream at 2 AM.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. - And why is it that when you're trying to finish a text you only hit green lights?

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my yewt everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Happy Halloween

I know it's been a while, but I finally have some pictures to post. This year for Halloween Lexi and Jack were pumpkins. As usual I forced Jeff into a costume that coincided with mine. He was a particularly good sport this year because I forced him to wear a beard and wig. He was Zeus and I was Athena. I thought it was pretty creative especially since I already had all the required clothing items.

Lexi had a parade and trunk-or-treat at her preschool. There was a small performance where the children say Halloween songs, but Lexi had another bout of stage-fright and came crying off the stage. I guess she doesn't have a future in theater.

Tonight was the ward trunk-or-treat that we all got dressed up for. It was fun, but I'm glad to have the stress of Halloween over.

Back to School

Lexi started preschool this week. I can't believe she'll be going to Kindergarten in a couple years. I wish there was a drug that you could give kids to keep them from growing up so fast. Maybe I should put my chemistry degree to good use and start working on something for that. Somehow I think the FDA wouldn't approve it though. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to savor every moment of these adorable years.

The Ultimate Death Match

If you've ever wondered who would win in a fight, a scorpion or a spider, read on to find the answer. First, a little background...

We've been living in Arizona for a few months now and absolutely love everything about it. We love the weather, the landscape, and the people. The only thing we HATE about living here are the scorpions. Because of the copious amounts of rain this summer, we have found multiple scorpions inside the home (one was climbing up my arm). Yesterday we found yet another scorpion in the house, but instead of our usual response (a swift smash with a shoe) Jeff decided to catch it and then feed it a bug. In my quest to find a yummy meal for our new pet, I found a LARGE spider. So, being the immature and curious adults we are, Jeff and I decided to put the two together and see which disgusting insect would win in a battle to the death.

Now, before I continue, I feel like I must explain something. I absolutely hate spiders. They're creepy and crawly and they freak me out. The only things I hate worse than spiders are scorpions. So, call me masochistic, but I have no qualms about putting a spider and scorpion together for a death match.

So, place your bets. Scorpion or Spider?

Our 2 contestants. An average sized scorpion and a large spider (probably a wolf spider)
At first, I was convinced that the scorpion had the upper hand. He was very aggressive and had the spider's legs in his pincers several times, while the spider seemed only concerned with escape. But, in the end the scorpion couldn't compete with the spider's large fangs and lost the battle. After about 6 hours together all that remained was a few bits and pieces of scorpion carcass and a very happy (and full) spider.
Here's what's left of the scorpion. Poor guy never had a chance.
Now, after the battle was over we were left with the conundrum of what to do with our winner. To me, the only good spider is a dead spider, but we decided that our spider friend was the lesser of 2 evils, and that if he could help decrease the number of scorpions in the yard he was worth something. So, we let the spider go free with the hopes that he'll devour any scorpion that crosses his path.

The End (at least for the scorpion).

PRIVATE

Just to let you know, I am making my blog private this week. Hopefully I got everyone on the list. I hope you all continue to view my blog and check up on my family.

Yum Yum!

Jackson had his first taste of baby food this past Sunday. We decided to start with squash in the hopes that he will become a vegi-lover like his sister. He did pretty good for his first time, although the bulk of the food ended up on his bib and up his nose. He's getting better every day and his diapers are getting stinkier. It's fun to start feeding your baby solids, but man does it make the dirty diapers worse! Oh well, whatcha gonna do?

Here are some random pics of the kids that I've been meaning to post...

Andrew came to visit and he and Lexi decided to swap clothes. I'll spare you the picture of Andrew wearing Lexi's clothes, but I'm sure you can imagine a 16-year-old wearing a 3-year-old's clothes. Luckily he wore his boxers underneath.

Getting ice cream as a family. What's up with kids always wanting sprinkles? Seriously yuck! We were actually surprised because on this trip she went for mini m&m's. Maybe her tastes are maturing.

Jackson and his cousin Olivia. It is so nice living close to family so we can get together and hang out.

As many babies do, Jack started sporting a mullet as his baby hair began to fall out. I have a strict no-mullet policy and so had to pull out the clippers and take care of the problem immediately.

WITH MULLET

WITHOUT MULLET

Much better!!!

Lexi is always happy to pose for the camera. She's defintely our little actress.

My Last Will and Testament

In my attempt to lose the last 30 pounds of post-pregnancy weight I've decided to do the P90X workout program. It's basically 90 days of sheer torture. I started yesterday and am already sore to the max. So, if I die from a heart attack or my body is rendered useless from the pain, please tell my family that I love them. On the other hand, if I make it through the 90 days I should be one buff chick!

Mission Beach

I am recommitting to blogging and since I am so behind with my posts, my next several entries are going to be a little out of order.

First of all, I should give an update on how our family is doing here in Arizona. We are still living with my parents and will probably for a while. Jeff got a job at a local chiropractor's office that he hasn't been too enthusiastic about, but again our family has been blessed and he got an offer to work in a clinic that focuses specifically on his field of chiropractics. This new job will provide him with amazing opportunities to learn and grow before we open our own clinic. He starts working there next week and is ecstatic.

So, on to the actual topic of this post. Last week my parents rented a beach house at Mission Beach in San Diego for a Nielsen family reunion. The house was literally right on the beach about 75 yards from the ocean. The entire family was there including my sister Jerilyn's 3 boys. It was great to get everyone together and exciting to take Lexi to the beach for the first time. She loved playing in the sand and had no fear of the ocean.

This is a picture of us on the trip down. We had the car packed so full we were busting at the seams. It was a little crazy for the first few days because both Jeff and my brother Eric had to work and so didn't come until later in the week. It was definitely rough being a single parent for those 5 days. (Notice Jackson and Savannah in the very back seat).

Jack loved hanging out in his pop-up tent. He even napped in it. Of course the second I would get him to sleep, Lexi would decide that she wanted to go back to the house.

Lexi flying the very popular $3.00 Spongebob kite.

On the second day Lexi woke up with a sore ankle and refused to walk at all. Instead, she spent the whole day crawling everywhere. It was pretty funny. The next morning she was fine. Weird. Maybe she just wanted the attention.
London was our little sand princess. She spent more time on the beach than anyone else. She never wanted to come in. She was happy to play in the sand all day.

Matthew smiling (or growling) for the camera
My dad is the king of sand castles and this is the one he created this year (will the help of the grandkids of course).
Lexi was one of the few kids (or adults) who actually got in the water. She's a fishy like her mommy.
Lexi and London really enjoyed playing together. They are only a couple months apart in age so it was great to get them together to bond.

At the aquarium. Notice that I'm missing from the picture. That's because I stayed home and slept all morning.

Privacy Time

I've decided to make our blog private for a variety of reasons. There are just too many creeps out there that I'd rather not have looking at my beautiful babies and reading my most personal thoughts. If you would like to continue to view my blog all you need to do is give me your email address and I will add you to the list of people who can view my blog. Either leave a comment with your email address or send me an email. Sorry for the inconvenience but you just can't be too careful these days!

We're Still Here

Things have finally settled down enough that I have time to post an update about what's going on with the Schramms. We are now living very comfortably in my parents home in Scottsdale, AZ. Alexis and Jackson are definitely getting spoiled from all the attention and love the grandparents are giving them, and I'm certainly not complaining about having some extra hands around to help with the kids. Jeff is working in a chiropractic office in the area while he makes plans to open his own practice most likely in the Mesa area. We have our good and bad days, but on the whole life is treating us pretty okay. We are just so grateful for the support and help from family and friends. I've got lot's of pictures to post so check back soon.

Mother's Day Thoughts

This mother's day has given way to much thought and reflection. A mere 3 weeks ago, Jeff graduated from chiropractic school and we relocated our family to Colorado to pursue a very prestigious internship. We had just settled into our beautiful new home and Jeff had begun working when we got some awful news. Jeff did not pass his part III board exam and as a result is unable to get a chiropractic license in Colorado. This forced us to make the difficult decision to pack up our family AGAIN and move in with my parents in Arizona. We had eventually planned on moving in with my parents and settling in Arizona but have had to bump up our timetable. We have therefore spent the last 4 days packing up our beautiful new townhome (thankfully rented) and are planning on making the drive to Arizona this week. We are hopeful that Jeff can get a job in Arizona since the licensing laws are slightly different there and that we'll be able to get back on our feet soon.

Although this has been one of the worst weeks of my life, I must reflect on all the wonderful blessings that I have in my life. I have two healthy and beautiful children that are too young to be affected by any of this drama. I have a husband who has been my rock and provided endless hugs through my near constant crying. I have parents who have a home that we can live in while we get on our feet. And we have countless other relatives and friends that have provided financial and emotional support. I know the Lord has a plan for my family and that we will get through this difficult time.

Blogging Hiatus

Since we are moving to Colorado this week and will be without internet for a while I am taking a break from blogging. I promise to return as soon as we get settled and I can find an internet connection somewhere. Until then, farewell and wish us luck!

How much can you pack into a week?

So this weekend Jeff graduated from Parker Chiropractic College. It's official, my husband is a doctor! It was so wonderful because we had lot's of family come in town for the festivities including Jeff's mom, aunt Donna, aunt Trish, his sister Joni and her husband Josh, plus my parents. Since we had so much family in town we decided to bless Jackson at church on Sunday so that everyone could be there to witness. Jeff did a wonderful job and gave Jack a beautiful blessing. Now, all our guests have left and we are in the process of packing up our apartment. We pick up our moving truck tomorrow and head for Colorado on Friday. My apartment is a mess and my stress level is to the max, but hopefully if I can get our family moved to Colorado things will calm down.

Here are some pictures from graduation and Jack's blessing.

Jeff looked so handsome in his cap and gown.The hood representing Jeff's doctorate degree in Chiropractics.Lexi ready for church in her adorable dress from auntie Jenn. Jackson in his blessing outfit. My brother and nephew were both blessed in the same outfit. Jeff wasn't very comfortable putting our son in tights, but hopefully Jackson's masculinity wasn't too affected by the girly apparel. I think that it's a physical impossibility to get a picture with both your children smiling, so this will have to do.