1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? - I've resorted to just rolling them up.
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? - I don't remember the last time I wrote in cursive. I can barely even read it anymore.
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. - So true.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. - I thought that was just me.
10. Bad decisions make good stories. - My husband can vouch for this one. He tells the BEST stories. Love you babe!
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. - That's why Solitaire was invented.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. - I just finished transferring all my VHS tapes to DVDs.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. - I don't purchase items that say that on the label.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. - That is why I never get ready anymore! My husband works late, so the only people I see all day are my kids, and they could care less if I'm still in my PJs.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. - I also assign them the most obnoxious ring tone to make doubly sure I don't answer it.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. - I agree. Try finding ice cream at 2 AM.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. - And why is it that when you're trying to finish a text you only hit green lights?
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my yewt everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? - I've resorted to just rolling them up.
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? - I don't remember the last time I wrote in cursive. I can barely even read it anymore.
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. - So true.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. - I thought that was just me.
10. Bad decisions make good stories. - My husband can vouch for this one. He tells the BEST stories. Love you babe!
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. - That's why Solitaire was invented.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. - I just finished transferring all my VHS tapes to DVDs.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. - I don't purchase items that say that on the label.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. - That is why I never get ready anymore! My husband works late, so the only people I see all day are my kids, and they could care less if I'm still in my PJs.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. - I also assign them the most obnoxious ring tone to make doubly sure I don't answer it.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. - I agree. Try finding ice cream at 2 AM.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. - And why is it that when you're trying to finish a text you only hit green lights?
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my yewt everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
