Thursday, November 11, 2010

Hilarious!!!

I just got this email from my sister-in-law, and it's so funny that I almost pee'd my pants (not hard to do after having 2 kids). It is a list of 31 adult truths. I can honestly say that I relate to every single one. Here's the list (I added a few comments of my own):

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? - I've resorted to just rolling them up.

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? - I don't remember the last time I wrote in cursive. I can barely even read it anymore.

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. - So true.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. - I thought that was just me.

10. Bad decisions make good stories. - My husband can vouch for this one. He tells the BEST stories. Love you babe!

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. - That's why Solitaire was invented.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. - I just finished transferring all my VHS tapes to DVDs.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. - I don't purchase items that say that on the label.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. - That is why I never get ready anymore! My husband works late, so the only people I see all day are my kids, and they could care less if I'm still in my PJs.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. - I also assign them the most obnoxious ring tone to make doubly sure I don't answer it.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. - I agree. Try finding ice cream at 2 AM.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. - And why is it that when you're trying to finish a text you only hit green lights?

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my yewt everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

13 comments:

Tiana said...

Oh I so loved this! Thanks for sharing!!!!!

AJ and Cindy said...

thanks for posting this, it is all SO true, I loved it, so funny!

Raluca Enache said...

this is so cool, i like your blog :)

Gretta said...

Yeah! I HATE high school kids. And I NEVER wash my jeans. No need.

Malinda said...

You don't know me, but I came across your blog. Thank-You for the laugh and all of it, is so true.

Lenora said...

Very funny--and relevant. Thanks for posting. (I stumbled upon your blog.)

Anonymous said...

Men are the ones who create evil on Earth. It is the choices they make which enslave their souls to hell.
And that's why you are continually reincarnated. Welcome to the Matrix.
7 billion in 2011. Only 1 billion in 1800 and 2 billion in 1900.
Population explosion is a clue::::The gods are sending everyone back for The End.
There must be some purgatory-like place. Or individual. Like an animal.
Now the gods have sent everyone back to try for one final time to fix their problems and ascend into heaven. Avoiding an animal would have been a big positive because those thrust into this decayed enviornment have less of a chance than those who enjoyed the god's generosity of a slowly decaying enviornment with frightening clues, like the Depression, the Holocaust, etc.
Anything that can get the poeple frightened and praying is a good. thing. Contentment never motivated anyone.

As we approach the Apocalypse the gods are removing "wrath of god" material from xtian dogma.
As we see wickedness spread throughout the country, like preditory behavior, godlessness, socialo changes, etc, using cable TV and the spread of "Californication" as justification, they changed xtianity, appropriatly with Catholicism first.
xtianity has changed radically in the 20th century, and everyone should be mindful of the way it was, because the people are in a process of slipping out of god's favor into a state of Damnation, from which the vast majority will never survive.
They used to scare people and make them too afraid to make mistakes. Now people aren't afraid of anything and don't think twice about doing something wicked and evil which will hurt their chances.

Employment charity:::Was W able to do his job as President?
I suspect there are many frat-boy types who couldn't or wouldn't study nor do the work necessary so they gained this "benefit" telepathically. This could have been extended to their professional life as well::In most of these cases they don't have what it takes to do their jobs.
I think employment charity is FAR more common than people may believe.
Another example how they tempted people in this manner is the procurement of sexual relations.
Consistant with The Matrix, the Gods positioned both to these people which gained their confidence. But what they don't know is this behavior actually hurts them::They were offered temptation and they fell for it. And one day, if they are to have a future, they will be punished.
Keep raping these poor girls. You're going to end up as one in your next life.

If people only understood the importance of good parents. You won't be going anywhere without them. And it won't happen unless you are one first.

"If it's like that then I'm dead." That's your choice. But when you come back you will have a fresh start, just as you did in this life, able to build something positive if you go the right way. The gods do this intentionally. I recommend you get a head start and begin building for it now instead of continuing to create problems that will make sucess even harder to obtain.
It is as simple as recognizing the difference between good and evil and living a decent life with a pure heart and a pure mind. And as you improve your relationship with the gods they will begin to impart wisdom, which can help you understand the task before you.

Another feature which the Gods offer as a clue is very foreboading and ominous. Mt. Zion is a mountain to the north of Diablo (the eye of The Beast) and one which has a working quarry at its base. Consistant with the decay we experience in society, Mt. Zion is being eaten away, slowly stripped of its resources, until one day paradise will be gone forever.

chelsea said...

So cool!Thanks for sharing.

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Wendy said...

Very funny, and oddly true!

Promotional Pens said...

I like the idea of a sarcasm font!

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